3’s a crowd…especially when it’s his mother

2 Aug

Yep, you read that right. His mom. Came to our first date.

Now I feel like I need to clarify a bit, as Gretch can be a little dramatic at times. I know. Shocker.

I met Jonah through the Happn app. If you haven’t used this one yet, basically it shows you how many times you have passed someone. The idea being that you may connect with someone who has similar interests/proximity.

So, being the natural saint I am, one Sunday was in church. As I leave church I see that I connect with someone via this app. Interesting.

He messages me and we begin chatting, then progresses to texts where he asks me out for that Thursday. He seems nice. A little older than I am used to dating, but Gretch ain’t no spring chicken anymore, unfortunately. So… why. the. hell. not. 

Problem was that I had something to do that Thursday so I suggest Friday night. His response: “Unless you want to come with me and 15-20 other people to feed the homeless, we will have to pick another night.”

Aw. I may have swooned a bit. How nice is he? “Of course I want to do that with you.”, I reply. I think to myself, Can’t hurt my world karma and it’s in a group, so if he’s terrible/creepy I have an easy out. 

A couple days pass and now it’s 45 mins before I am supposed to meet him. I receive a text from him:

Hey! How are you?

My reply: Good and you?

In my head: WTF. Something is about to happen with a response like that.

Jonah: I am great! Just getting ready to pick up my mom to bring with me.

Me in my head: DA FUCK? He’s got to be kidding me. 

My actual response: Oh. No pressure??

His response: Nope. <insert crying laughing emoji>

I can’t back out at this point. I will look like a total asshole because WE ARE FEEDING THE HOMELESS. So I go.

Turned out I liked his mom more than him.

Just saw this buzzfeed on the 18-first worst dates. When your date texts you his mom is coming. #worstfirstdates

No words,





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