red flags

25 Feb

Somehow, at the end of every relationship, I find myself bawling to my friends, “I should have listened to myself. I knew I couldn’t trust him/her.” Yet, each time something new starts, I find myself thinking, “Maybe I am just broken. Maybe I should stop running, and just give it a chance.” NO. No. nononononononono. No.

There was a person at work who expressed interest a few weeks ago. I dreaded the day he would come out about this. It came as no surprise since anytime he had a drink in him, he would flirt.

Red flags in that tiny portion of a paragraph: I don’t  want to mess with anyone at work. I want someone who expresses interest when they are sober. I am not great at this relationship thing, but I am pretty sure you shouldn’t dread someone expressing interest…

The night of the initial, “I want to date you,” was not my sweetest moment. This guy reminds me of my ex. Like a lot. Like A HELL OF A LOT.



So, I told him. “You remind me of my ex. Let me tell you how this will go. You say you want to date me. I say no. You persist. I give in. You eventually tell me you love me. You try to fix me. I fall in love with you. You break up with me. Let me save us both the time. No.”

Jesus, can we say baggage?

Fast-forward a few weeks. I am thinking maybe I am broken. Maybe I should give it a shot. Maybe we can be friends and it can turn into more.


Now fast forward to me suggesting grabbing lunch with said guy. That’s okay, right? Lunch didn’t work out so it turned to drinks…work happy hour. No one-on-one sexy time. Fear not. Good(ish) choices!

So happy hour. He is there. I am there. He wants to buy me shots. Nope. His hand is on the small of my back. Eh. This doesn’t feel sexy. I just feel weird. He and the ex are bonding.  Ew. They have man crushes on one another. Could it be because they are the same person? He buys the ex shots. Which one is which? I can’t tell them apart! We all move to a different bar.  This is where shit gets weird.

At the second bar, I am having a serious bonding-style convo with a work friend. She is opening up to me. I am opening up to her. Non-romantic style. Who is there? Hovering? Work guy. All nonverbal cues…mostly us ignoring you…indicates that you may want to come back in a bit. Still hovering. Then, suddenly talking about his pets. Ferrets.

RED FLAG! I am choking on the red flag!!!  

I am not sure how that conversation ended. I wasn’t drunk. I think I may have just walked away. Then, my friends and I are dancing. There is more hovering. More pet talk!   Okay, now there are sirens. Pets are okay, but I am dancing! I leave. Not a full sketch-bounce since I was catching a ride with a friend, but pretty close. I wake up to a text that reads: 😦

Lessons? (1) I am sort of a bitch. Or…I am at least so awkward I can’t handle these sorts of situations. I hope it is the second one. (2) Red flags. Pay attention to them. All of them. Preferably, that first one.


2 Responses to “red flags”

  1. healthy relationship tips July 24, 2013 at 5:05 am #

    Sometimes it hurts if you really love someone. However, you can choose the person that you are to love. Right from the start it is very important to know your compatibility with the person you love so that you will not cry at the end.

  2. New Single Guy February 27, 2013 at 3:08 am #

    Unfortunately, I glossed over too many red flags with my most recent ex-girlfriend, Ginger. So I know how that goes. :\

    The problem is identifying what are blocking red flags, and what you can deal with. Nobody’s perfect.

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