show and tell

12 Aug

I can’t say I’ve been really “seeing” Garrett. I won’t actually let him take me out on a date. When I have the energy to tell you his back story maybe I will, but as usual it’s complicated. I think I have a karmic sign that directs guys with drama and issues to me.

In any case, I figured out fast that Garrett wasn’t right for me. Skip to now — Garrett broke his collar bone in a scooter accident. That’s right. A scooter. [I can’t make this up. I’m not that creative.] So the fool can’t do anything and SURPRISE! his dirt bag friends are nowhere to be found.

Garrett didn’t call for a few days and I thought it was kinda weird, especially for a guy who wanted to “drop $1000 on our first date.” But I figured that he got the message that I didn’t want to date him, got upset and decided to stop calling.

Then one day outta the blue I get a text from Garrett. He tells me that he’s been in the hospital. The story of how he broke himself is ridiculous. And I can’t believe it. First, he’s under house arrest [there’s part of the backstory] and now that he’s not on house arrest he breaks his collar bone and is confined to his house, yet again. Ironic.

He broke his collar bone and dislocated his shoulder. He can’t move his arm or shoulder. Which actually affects a lot because he can’t bend, lift or do anything. I asked Garrett how he was eating if he couldn’t cook. I guess you can cook with one hand but a meal is a bit complicated to manage. Anyway, he told me that he was eating whatever he had around the house.  When I asked him what he had for dinner, he told he ate a pork rind. Gross.

“A pork rind? Garrett, really? Do you have groceries in your house?”

Of course, he doesn’t. I think you’d be hard pressed to find a bachelor with actual cooking-food in his house. Anyway, don’t take this the wrong way, I wanted to make sure Garrett was eating actual food not crap, so I told him I would come over Friday after work and make him a few meals for the weekend. Friday, I stopped by the grocery and then headed to Garrett’s house. It was nice to be preparing a meal with/for someone  but since I didn’t want to date him it was a bit like going through the motions.

He has way too much drama in his life for me to be comfortable. That’s not the only reason I won’t date him. Garrett has this really fucking annoying habit of telling me what he wants me to think about him. Does that make sense?

I was trying to explain it to my friend Lilly and I couldn’t find the words. I couldn’t describe what it was about the way this guy talked to me that rubbed me the wrong way… I was searching for the right adjective and I said to Lilly, “it’s like he isn’t sincere.”

And boom. Just like that, I’d figured it out. He isn’t sincere. He tells me. He doesn’t show me. And it’s the showing – who you really are – that matters. You can describe yourself until you’re blue in the face, but if your actions don’t match then…  actions speak louder than words, right?

Some examples…

Garrett tells me he’s a gentleman.
He and I had conversations about “guys these days…” they don’t court women. They don’t open doors. They don’t do the little things. Then Garret tells me the $1000 first date thing – as if that were the key to being a gentleman. And I give him this sideways look like, wtf? How is that even a necessary thing to say? Who says that??? And it’s the insincerity. I think it’s kind of hard to describe and I’m not doing a very good job, but if he were a gentleman he wouldn’t have said that. It’s sleazy.

Garrett tells me he’s not materialistic (“even though I drive a Lexus”)
Whaaaaa TF? I. don’t. care. what you drive. I don’t care. I didn’t ask what he drove. He offered that information to me. I’m pretty sure we weren’t even talking about cars. He wants me to know he drives a Lexus and the fact that it matters enough for him to bring it up tells me he’s materialistic. And you can be materialistic – I don’t care. We all have a little bit of that in us, but don’t verbalize that you aren’t and then contradict yourself. See what I mean? Insincere. He doesn’t mean anything he says.

By the time this has happened I’m on edge with this guy. Any little thing he does pisses me off. So when he asked me out on a date I nearly flipped out on him. He asks me out Thursday, for Friday. He starts by telling me he’s not going to tell me what he has planned. Then he tells me. He tells me that he’s tired of being home and wants to be seen out with a pretty girl by his side (his words not mine). Oh, that’s nice… WHAT?! Wow, you’re really concerned about my having a good time. You don’t fucking care about me.

He’s telling me, telling me, telling me that he’s a great guy for me. But nothing he does shows me that’s true.



One Response to “show and tell”

  1. Mandy August 17, 2011 at 8:08 pm #

    I don’t read blogs but I’m commenting on yours AREN’T I WONDERFUL?

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