I’ve been using OkCupid, but on a whim and in an effort to increase my chances of meeting someone moderately non-annoying (cause relationships are about compromise, right?), I registered on Plenty of Fish.
side note: Have you seen Plenty of Fish? It’s an atrocious website. I don’t trust anyone on it. I know the distorted photos aren’t your fault, but I don’t care. Distorted pictures = automatic creeper status. You know this is true.
Ok, back to the story… almost immediately, I met Jake. Jake was smiley in his photo and his profile read that he played soccer. Could it be? MY David Beckham??? A David Beckham for my very own?!?!
Jake and I decided we would meet up for a drink (A drinker! Thank God!). I get to the place where we’re supposed to meet and there’s this blonde guy sitting in the waiting area – waiting for me. :::sigh:::
I tap him on the shoulder and say, “Jake?”
He turns around… and…
BAM! VELOCIRAPOTER CITY!
Jake has a weird way of tilting his head and laser focusing his eyes on me. I feel like he wants to eat me.
I sit through about an hour of polite first date conversation and then excuse myself. I can’t date someone who makes me feel like I’d taste really great grilled. Kinda unfortunate because he was the nicest velociraptor I’d ever met.
Nom, nom,
– Jane
PS. There are no takeways here. Maybe, don’t be a velociraptor? That kind of thing cannot be helped. Rawr.
Boner in the Back 
This is hilarious. And I agree- Plenty of Fish is just plain awful!
Hysterical! I may never stop laughing!
This is your best post yet Jane!! I can relate…totally went on a date with a med student who gave me the exact look and feeling you just described…I just never linked him to a dinosaur!! LMAO!!!
Lovin,
Gretch