and then there’s this guy…

14 Mar

I’ve been using OkCupid, but on a whim and in an effort to increase my chances of meeting someone moderately non-annoying (cause relationships are about compromise, right?), I registered on Plenty of Fish.

side note: Have you seen Plenty of Fish? It’s an atrocious website. I don’t trust anyone on it. I know the distorted photos aren’t your fault, but I don’t care. Distorted pictures = automatic creeper status. You know this is true.

Ok, back to the story… almost immediately, I met Jake. Jake was smiley in his photo and his profile read that he played soccer. Could it be? MY David Beckham??? A David Beckham for my very own?!?!

Jake and I decided we would meet up for a drink (A drinker! Thank God!). I get to the place where we’re supposed to meet and there’s this blonde guy sitting in the waiting area – waiting for me. :::sigh:::

I tap him on the shoulder and say, “Jake?”

He turns around… and…


Jake has a weird way of tilting his head and laser focusing his eyes on me. I feel like he wants to eat me.

I sit through about an hour of polite first date conversation and then excuse myself. I can’t date someone who makes me feel like I’d taste really great grilled.  Kinda unfortunate because he was the nicest velociraptor I’d ever met.

Nom, nom,
– Jane

PS. There are no takeways here. Maybe, don’t be a velociraptor? That kind of thing cannot be helped. Rawr.


3 Responses to “and then there’s this guy…”

  1. Single_Blonde March 19, 2011 at 12:15 pm #

    This is hilarious. And I agree- Plenty of Fish is just plain awful!

  2. Kat March 15, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

    Hysterical! I may never stop laughing!

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